At 21, I found myself with a two-year-old son and a baby on the way. I remember sitting in my bonus mom LaShan’s kitchen having a heart-to-heart. We were discussing what my future looked like with two young kids. Of course, with age, memories fade, but something she said that day has always stuck with me and is just as true now as when she said it many, many moons ago. 

She said: follow me, I’ll show you the right way to go. 

Let’s backtrack a bit. 

In high school, her children had to read a daily devotional every morning before school. I was around so much that after a while, bible study included me too. 

To this day, EVERY DAY, she sends a morning devotional text to all of our family. This morning’s devotional of Psalm 46:1 sat in my spirit all day and inspired me to the point I had to write. Just as God is our refuge and strength, and a very present and well-proved help in trouble, my Mommy Shan has been that for me. She is the true definition of what being an example, the blueprint looks like. And while us kids pick with her on how her leniency has greatly evolved in the discipline department with her grandchildren, the more I age, the more I understand how her consistency in walking with God impacts me daily.

In true young adult fashion, I didn’t always follow her advice. I stopped reading the word. And for a time, I’d stepped away to figure out life, myself, and what I thought was best for me and my children. In true LaShan fashion, a mother’s love is a mother’s love. I have always been welcomed back into the fold with open arms.

Lately, I’ve been mindfully intentional to be present with my family, and it feels like the piece of me that was missing is now whole. That completeness serves as a reminder that I am just as much a part of her legacy as her biological children. I am not an author, or a successful businesswoman, or a good mother, or someone who has numerous educational letters after my name, or frankly and being 100% transparent, a decent human being without her.

I know she looks at me and says to herself…self, you know…you did a good job with that one. She turned out alright. I’m just thankful I listened and followed. I am thankful she did more than she had to. In my teens, she saw a very troubled, abandoned child and filled in the gap. She saved my life. I pray she’s as proud of herself as she is of me. I am.  

I embrace the best parts of her unconditional love for me. I carry her kindness, compassion, and wisdom in my spirit, as do her grandchildren…AND the children who consider me a bonus mom. The seeds she planted in me will thrive for generations to come. 

May you have an angel on earth as magnificent as my Mommy. And if by chance you don’t, may you open your heart to be that example for someone else.